Dreams of What Could've Been
by Writer-and-Artist27
Summary: In the world where the pianist summoned two Servants by accident, there comes a night where Saber and Archer have to face their newest enemy being their Master's dreams. Tomoko is not all bright as she makes herself out to be. [Sequel to A Girl and An Archer, Heaven's Feel References]


Inspired by what I've seen of the first two Heaven's Feel's movies, post Organic Chemistry finals stress, and how I thought said emotions might incorporate into Tomoko's time with Saber and Archer. Even Servants have to see their Masters be vulnerable at one point or another.

Beware of possible Heaven's Feel spoilers if you haven't read the original visual novels or seen the movies. Also, **trigger warning** for implied violence and the like, just in case. The original route was dark, so there.

Theme is Amalee's English acoustic cover of Haruhi Suzumiya's _God Knows. _Because the lyrics help with the comforting feelings of the latter half of this oneshot.

* * *

_Darkness. Nothing but darkness. My feet weren't touching anything solid, and when looking down, all that I could see was the pale white of the dress on me. _

_My mouth opened without me thinking. "Saber? Archer?" _

_No answer. _

_I tried again. "Kei? Obi? Ricchan? Kashi?"_

_Silence again. _

"_Mama? Papa? Sakumo-jichan? Miyako-bachan? Wataru-jichan?"_

_All I could hear was my own voice echoing in the darkness. _

"_Where are you…? Is anybody here?" My heart was beating against my chest hard. "Where is everyone…?"_

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

_Insects…? _

"AAAAAAAH!"

_My heart stopped. I knew that voice. "Saber? SABER?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" My voice was cracking as tears were budding in my eyes. "SABER!" _

"_MILADY!" was all I could hear, and turning around greeted me with the Knight I had grown to love, surrounded by — by those _same _insects. It was hard to tell if they were wasps or even worms, but they were forming black tendrils around her, covering her silver armor and bits of her face, and my feet were finding purchase on the ground again. I had to run. She was already two-thirds shrouded in dark-insect-things._

"_SABER!" Oh god, no, this was bad, I had to get there, I had to get her _out, _the dark couldn't take someone I love again. I didn't care that I was barefoot, I could still _move… "_SABER!" _

"_M-Milady—" Her mouth was covered by those same tendrils, and the image of my figure in her green eyes was unmistakable. "MMPH!" Her hand — I was so close— _

"_SABER!" Just an inch more—_

_One wide green eye was all that I saw before the darkness took her and my knees gave out. _

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

"_What…" my voice was cracking. The tears were hot sliding down my cheeks, and my eyes began to sting. "Saber…! Saber, why… what was that…? Saber…" _

"_Shirou? Shirou, why — Shirou! Shirou!"_

_Huh? "Who…" I looked up. The darkness had changed for devastated forest, left shrouded in wisps of purple flame. "Where am I—"_

"_Shirou!" _

_My head was already turning towards the direction of the new voice. "White… hair?" It was so pretty, so unearthly, on that little girl kneeling far away, and, the person near her… _

_The gasp was already stuck in my throat. The teenager next to that little girl, he was bleeding. He didn't have an arm. _

_Even in the darkness of the devastated forest, the purple on the little girl made her and her shouts stand out. "SHIROU!"_

_My own dress was already covered in his blood. _

_A cough. "Looks like this is it." _

_No. I knew that voice too. Swiveling my head around just made my heart sink even further, because that was _Archer_. He was here too, bleeding from the head, his armor torn to the point of exposing his left arm. He was smiling towards an unconscious girl with pigtails, stroking her hair softly. His smile was already painful to look at. Like he was about to say goodbye. "Take care, Tohsaka."_

_The name was unfamiliar, but I found myself echoing it anyways. "Toh…saka?" _

_Archer, while unsteady, still got to his feet, and the familiar gleam of his magic shined in his right hand before a sword materialized. He was coming towards me, and I could already feel myself reach out. "Archer, what—"_

_He didn't even give me a second glance. It was like I was a ghost who wasn't even there. He just walked past me and faced the boy and the little white-haired girl dressed in purple. I didn't even have to hear his last words to see him raise the blade of his newly created sword towards his left shoulder. _

_My heart and stomach were already gone. No no no, _no_, not him too—! "ARCHER!"_

_All it took was a single SLASH, and he fell too. _

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

* * *

"NO!"

That was about when my eyes shot open, and my breath was already leaving me in pants as I shot up from my futon. The sweat made my hair stick to my face, and the tears — I was actually crying.

"Ugh." My stomach was already housing butterflies, and with the churning of liquid in my throat, my feet pushed my blankets back without my having to think on the motion, pulling me up to run out of my room and over to the bathroom. Turning on the light switch and finding the seat of the toilet bowl didn't take long, and I found myself falling to my knees and leaning over the bowl, upheaving what felt like the worst bile in my entire life. The times of motion sickness didn't even _compare_, because the nausea, tears, and _burning _in my chest just made it all worse.

I was alone all over again.

" —omoko?" Someone's voice. I couldn't help but focus on throwing up, because the tears were too much, _the images _were too much. The last time I had this bad of a nightmare was when—

When I had to relive Vy's old trauma when _Kei _was with me. Back when we both were kids.

The nausea was too much, and I couldn't even do so much as _look up _at who said my name before another wave hit and I found myself upheaving the rest of the digested leftovers of yesterday's dinner. The taste was acidic and overall unpleasant in my mouth, so once everything solid was out, I forced myself to reach over and flush the toilet bowl, trying not to gag.

It didn't even register that someone had taken up the task of holding my hair back until there was a small tug, and the tears were already blurring my vision once I raised my head and made eye contact with warm emerald. _Saber's _emerald. "Milady," Saber's voice was softer, worried now as her other hand reached over with a damp cloth to wipe at my mouth. "I'm here."

A few footsteps followed, and a hand gently landed on top of my head. "Tomoko." Archer's voice this time, and looking up at him revealed that he was wearing a similar expression to Saber: worried and understanding. "Are you okay?"

Something in me seized up and more tears rolled down my cheeks. They found me. They were here. They were actually _here_. They were okay, not bleeding, not covered in darkness. They were _okay_. My throat clogged, and all that left me were whimpers and something along the lines of their names. I wanted to be okay, but we all knew that I wasn't.

Saber's voice cracked. "Tomoko…!"

Archer was the first one to pull me into a hug, and Saber quickly joined in once the tears jumpstarted in their entirety. I couldn't help but cling to them as hard as I could, trying to muffle my sobs, because there was no darkness. They were _here, _they were _alive_, and my heart was just rolling around in my chest trying to grasp that.

"I'm here, Archer's here. We're both here for you. You're okay, milady. You're safe with us." A soft kiss pressed against the crown of my hair. "It's alright."

I wanted to believe that, I just wanted to, so much—

_Buzz, buzz, buzz, _my mind seemed to mock instead.

"S-Saaaaaaber…"

I was such a coward.

"Shhh, shhh," Archer's voice was surprisingly soft above my head as a hand started stroking the tangles out of my hair. "You don't have to talk, Master. Simply let it out."

It was a nice thought, but the bile did all that already. They needed an explanation. Even when my neck ached, I shook my head, trying to pull out of the hug, just to fumble. "I-It's not that… th-throwing up did all that, but—" my voice cracked again. "But—"

"Milady." A breath brushed my forehead before another kiss pressed against my brow. Saber. Even when in this state, she was still acting as my Knight. _Being _my Knight. "You don't have to push yourself. It's alright."

I shook my head. I had to ask. I had to confirm it. "B-But, Saber, Archer, y-you two aren't going to leave, right? You two won't _die _on purpose, right?"

A hand gently landed on my shoulder, and Archer's gray eyes were wide in my direction when I looked up at him. "Of course not, Master." His voice was both serious and filled with disbelief as he squeezed my shoulder. "Why do you ask?"

"B-Because… because…" If I closed my eyes, I knew I'd hear the buzzing again. The buzzing that signified the dream where I saw them go. "I saw Saber get taken away. I saw _you_, Archer, cut your own arm off and die…!"

I could tell both Servants were already freezing from my words, but said moment lasted for a second before the attention was back on me again. "From what, Milady?" Saber's voice was still soft in my direction, and a hand gently lifted my chin up. I couldn't meet her eyes. "What happened?"

"I-In my dream, I just heard a lot of bugs moving around, no one was with me… I was all alone, and that was just the start…!" the tears were scalding against my face. "A-And then, when no one answered me, I saw Saber get taken by those bugs… like ropes, like darkness, I don't fucking know!" I didn't even realize I started yelling. "I tried to run, tried to get you out, Saber, but you were gone before I could reach you…"

"Master."

"A-And then, there was this little white-haired girl yelling 'Shirou, Shirou' and, and Archer, you were injured, you were hurt, you had a sword towards your shoulder—"

"_Master."_ A finger poked my forehead hard enough to make me lurch backwards, and the tears and squeaking too stopped once Archer was in my line of vision. He was frowning, but his eyes were still soft. Focused. "You're rambling. Take a deep breath."

I inhaled as much air as I could.

"Hold it."

I did that.

A few seconds later, and Archer nodded. "Now let it out."

I did that too. The tears were finally starting to slow down too, and Archer smiled as he offered another wet towel to me. "That better?"

All I could muster was a measly nod and a small, "Mm," as I reached up to take the towel.

Saber smiled too as she squeezed my free hand. "Milady," she shook her head, "No, Tomoko. That was simply a bad dream. In this present, Archer and I are both right in front of you, aren't we?"

I closed my eyes to wipe at my face with the towel before looking up again. Sure enough, they were here, in front of me. Slightly glowy and all thanks to being Servants, but kneeling at my side and _here_. "Mm-hm."

Saber tugged on my hand, and I was already leaning towards her once she pulled me into another hug. "There's nothing to worry about then." The grip around me was tight and strong, yet gentle too. I didn't know if it was Saber, Archer, or both of them at once hugging me. "In all of our will, in all the time we have, we intend to stay with you, our Master. We will not die that easily."

"Besides," Archer added dryly, "with such a Master like you, Tomoko, there's no way we can leave."

Even without raising my head, I knew Saber was giving Archer a dirty look. "Archer." Her voice was disapproving. "Was that necessary?"

I could hear the smirk in Archer's voice before a hand landed on top of my head again, petting it. "It's just the truth, Saber. And besides," his voice turned soft again as his fingers brushed out one nasty tangle, "I feel the same."

If I was crying from stress before, I was currently tempted to cry from relief now. Where did that wet towel go… "Archer…"

"Oh god, you don't have to cry again…" Archer said in the same soft tone. "Tomoko…"

I shook my head, my strength already sapped enough to where I could do nothing but lean into Saber and accept her hug. "Th-These are happy tears, okay…?! B-Because, because, because life sucks, people die, I get that, I just…" My voice caught in my throat, but the words still came out anyways. "Just, just… I love you two, so much." The tears were close to falling anyways, gosh darn it. "Thank you for saying all that. For being here. I-I love you…"

In the Narutoverse where anyone could die, these two saying all those cheesy things with all their heart just made the world feel a bit brighter.

Saber tensed nonetheless, frozen for a single second before a soft chuckle brushed the top of my hair. "I love you too, Milady," was the warm whisper.

The hand on my hair tensed too, and I could tell through the magic bond that Archer was speechless. "Tomoko, I…" The other arm around my back tightened. "Thank you."

I nodded. It was good enough. He didn't have to respond. "I-I'm sorry, though, f-for waking you two up."

From the close distance, Saber shook her head, squeezing me. "Don't apologize, Milady." She quietly helped me up to my feet as Archer kept a hold on my shoulder. "Do you want to go back to bed now?"

My heart was beating again, bringing the heat and everything that constituted embarrassment back, but I nodded anyways. "If… um."

Archer didn't even have to look at my face. "I'll brew some warm tea." The smirk was obvious in his voice. "Saber, you're in charge of guard duty."

"Oh." I could hear her smirk too. "With plenty of hugs?"

"Sure, I'll leave you to that."

These dorks. They already knew what I was thinking. What I was hoping to ask.

Archer's footsteps left us as quickly as he did, echoing quietly in the hallways just as my cheek rested against Saber's shoulder. It was a bit damp from all my sobs, but it was still comforting. Muscular, yet comforting. "Saber?"

"Hm?" She was already guiding me back into my room, letting me sit back in the futon covers.

"I really love you, y'know."

A quiet inhale was all I heard before she kneeled down to my height and tugged me into another hug. A single squeeze was all the signal I had from Saber before another kiss was pressed to my forehead. I couldn't tell if it was out of her Knight background, sisterly feelings, or more. "I love you too, Tomoko. My brave, caring, and beautiful lady." Her voice was soft, admiring. "Please rest for now. I'll keep watch."

My eyes were already drooping when the tea kettle started to whistle.

The tea Archer came back with was warm. A far cry from the darkness that started everything. It was a good relief.


End file.
